Once, Twice, Thrice: Three Weeks of Rice in Phuket

To begin, I'll get the apology out of the way for my less than attentive attitude toward this blog. What I naively thought would be an effortless habit to form, morphed day-by-day into yet another task left undone. On top of a heavy dose of culture shock, homework, and yes, homesickness, I've been unable to find the time or articulate a fun way to tell my stories. However, with my first day of real teaching out of the way, I've felt a huge sense of relief, followed by the end of my writer's block.

It would be silly to sit here and write about every little thing we have experienced, the near brushes with disaster we've already encountered, or the many interesting people we've met....so, in the interest of my time, and yours, I've decided to create a running list, in no particular order, of some of my favorite things/things of note thus far on this journey. Kellie, I devote this list to you.

#1) D.C: Of course this has to be addressed right away. Diet Coke does exist here, but as Coke Light. And no, it does not taste the same. But yes, I am still drinking 2-3 cans a day. Hey, it's 16 baht, they're basically giving the stuff away!

#2) Our Crew: All the trainees in my group are great. It's been an indescribable experience to meet people from all over the globe (well, ok, that's sort of a stretch- we have one girl from Canada and one guy from the U.K) who you would  never have met if not for this trip (and maybe if you just met them once, not immediately warm to them) and realize how much you have in common regardless of nationality, age, religion, political affiliation, etc. It's reminded me of that age-old saying to not judge a book by it's cover, because some of the people here that I have grown so quickly fond of are not people I might typically befriend back home. In the end, we're all here together, sweaty, nervous to teach, and all with varying levels of traveller's sickness. You'd be amazed how a common illness can bring everyone together.

#3) Stray Dogs: High on my list due to the endless level of entertainment they have brought so far. Clean, dirty, collared, muzzled: dogs may out number people here in Phuket (in the low season at least). I'll also go ahead and throw cats into the mix as well, much to the chagrin of some cat lover's I know. Both species are everywhere in Phuket, much like the pigeons in NYC or Chicago, and have no qualms joining you for a walk to the store, escorting you home, or crashing your dinner (literally, several cats have curled up in our laps at "fancy" restaurants). Both also serve as a hazard while engaging in #4.

#4) Motor Bikes: The main form of transportation in Phuket, and, what I assume, the rest of the country. Noisy, smelly, and incredibly fun in a dangerous-kind-of-way, Mia and I rented one this past weekend to trek up the Big Buddha on the eastern side of the island. Looking pretty similar to Harry & Lloyd with her as the driver and myself clinging to her waist, we drove through a monsoon, dodged #3's and opening truck doors by the locals into our traffic lane (both #3's and Thai people have a decidedly nonchalant attitude towards life in general - see #5) and played Frogger in a Thai round-a-bout.  In the end, we made it to our destination, got blessed by a Monk, and I finished the day with some amazing helmet hair.

#5) Thai Time: Unaware until three weeks ago that this existed, I've now been fully versed in Thai Time after only three short weeks. Envision the concept of everything being done in a New York Minute, and combine that with the Spanish Siesta. What you get is an amalgamation of two incredibly idiosyncratic time frames. It applies to everything regarding the Thai lifestyle; they do things when they feel like it. if you're lucky, it's relatively fast. If not, be prepared to wait it out and not be annoyed. This latter part has taken some practice, and who knows if I'll ever be able to master it fully. It won't be for lack of trying, though. Sit at a restaurant one day for an hour before getting your food, and then wait only 10 minutes the next? Thai time. The tuk-tuk driver takes a detour and stops at his uncle's house for a chat and/or to pick up a family member or two, all while you thought you and your friends would be home in ten minutes? Thai time. Confused why a ferry schedule states that the trip to an island is anywhere between 1.5-2 hours? I think you get what I mean.....
The moral here is that once you embrace T.T., you kind of start to love it, and begin to understand why the people here are so happy. No one is in a huge rush, yet things still get done. What if this way of thinking was applied in the U.S.? No boss breathing down your neck with a deadline that really doesn't matter, people aren't rushing around and stressed out about ridiculous things all the time....ok, ok, maybe I am off on an idealistic tangent, but, blame it on island living. All I am saying is that we could learn a thing of two from the Thai people.

Which leads me also to #6: No Blackberry Use. To be more specific, no cell phones in general. Anyone reading this knows me to be an admitted Blackberry addict; I can't help the itch to constantly check it, look at my emails, scan Facebook status updates. Why was I always doing this? And more importantly, do I miss the fact that I haven't used my Blackberry in three weeks and won't for 4 whole months? The answer is NO. While admittedly sad that I had to move around the world to put down my drug of choice (AKA handheld technology), I have never felt less stressed than I do without always checking my phone. To all my fellow Blackberry addicts (you know who you are), I challenge you to go one hour without checking your phone. If you can't do it, you've got the Addiction. While I don't recommend everyone quit their jobs and move to Thailand to be free of the phone problem, trust me, not using my phone has made me so much more aware of how much I used to use it, and how it probably really annoyed other people that I was with. Without a phone, people still find a way to get a hold of me, and vice versa. Just something to think about....

#7) Koh Phi Phi:

Do: - Go here if you come to Thailand. Literally one of the most picturesque places I have ever seen (not that I have seen all that much, but, I can't really imagine a prettier or more serene place other than Tahiti or something similar).
- Take Dramamine for the ferry ride if you get motion sickness. I have never seen people literally hanging their heads off the side of a boat until that weekend. I was one of them. Don't be me!
- Splurge on an air conditioned room that costs more than $4 a night. We didn't do this. We paid in the end, not monetarily, but in emotional duress.
- Traverse the almost 90 degree climb to the Viewpoint. Just don't wear flip-flops when you do this (again, me). Also maybe do a couple deep knee bends after the trek down or you'll feel it the next day. Not that I would know from experience or anything....
- Eat at one of the two Italian restaurants on the island. They both have different names, Cosmic and Mamita, but they both have identical menus (don't get this concept but, whatever, it worked) and are owned by the same person. Great respite from rice!
- Watch the body paint. It doesn't wash out of your clothes.
DON'T: - Drink more than one Red Bull infused drink. The stuff could fuel a jet plane and isn't legal in the US. There is a reason for that.
- Walk up to the Viewpoint in flip-flops (see above "Do").
- Stay at U.S. Guesthouse (See above). If you must, don't sleep under the sheets and for the love of god, don't use the towels.
- Forget to watch where you are walking when you step out of the shops. There are concrete gutters all around the streets in Phi Phi that were constructed after the tsunami, and they are placed just so that your foot can fall nicely into them (a literal tourist trap), taking off the top layer of skin from your toe. Yes, this was me. Shocking, I know, given all my grace & agility. If this does happen to you, walk/stagger to any of the Massage parlours...all the ladies & lady boys are very nice and are equipped with gauze, band-aids, and Iodine. Apparently I am not the only idiot this has happened to.
- Try to be nice and corner a runaway poodle for it's owner. It will bite you (ask Mia).
-Go to a tattoo parlor wanting to get "Ello" tattooed on your finger due to some random love of the movie "Labyrinth". Your friends will berate you and refuse to let this be done (again, ask Mia and also see the note on drinking too much Red Bull).
- Stumble into the alley that is home to the Thai Market, unless you have a strong stomach, enjoy being around hearts that moments before were just removed from an animal, or were a past contstant on Fear Factor. This place reminded me of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre family's kitchen, and I still see some of the things that were there when I go to sleep at night. Not that I am culturally insensitive to other countries' food items, but the things for sale here were a stretch of the term "food" in any language. And above all, avoid this place at all costs if you have been drinking the night before.

Which is a nice segue way into the last, but not least, topic: #8) The Local Cuisine. Because I am running low on time and wit, I'll keep this short and bring it back up to the title of this blog. Rice, rice, rice, I eat it daily once, twice, thrice. OK, so it's not Shakespeare, but seriously, it is and could be the only thing we eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The novelty of Thai food wore off on about the 4th day, and I have never really dreamt about food until now (Chipotle burrito, Jimmy Johns sandwiches, Berry Chill.....). Suffice it to say I'm hungry, and will probably be that way until I come home, wherein afterwards I'll be in a food coma until spring emerges in Chicago.

That's all for now....soon to follow with notes on our first week of teaching, aka Volume One of Barefoot and Sunburned in the Classroom.