Forget A-Baht It: A Week of Lessons Learned in Bangkok

As the old tale of the Sword and the Stone goes, young Arthur unknowingly went about his days, unaware that he was the chosen King Of Briton, until he released the magical sword from the stone.  Not unlike Arthur, I believe that Mia and I have been on an unknowing quest for the past 5 weeks:  to unearth and survive in South East Asia's most dilapidated and depleted accommodations.  We are Arthur, and our Sword In The Stone was the Suda Palace.  After one week in the "Big Mango", we share with you our new-found wisdom that a little baht goes a long way, and can preserve your sanity, and more importantly, your health.

A note on hotels:

- Be extremely wary of anything with the word "palace" attached to it.  "Palace" can either denote a wonderfully modern, luxurious stay (a la President Palace), or it can be defined by beds constructed of concrete (with matching pillows), air conditioning that requires CPR to continue throughout the night, and extra guests in the form of dinner-plate sized cockroaches.  You tell me which "palace" you would opt for?  In sum, when the best hours of sleep are obtained on a hospital couch (yours truly) and a hospital bed (yours truly's best friend), you know it's time to spend a little more baht for some peace of mind, which is exactly what we did in moving to the President Palace.  Sure, it was indulgent at a whole 2000 baht a night, but, in America, at $60, you'd be lucky to get a Super 8 Motel for that price, even though at that point in the trip, I would have run for a Super 8 and gladly slept rolled up in the covers...something I would never have dreamt of doing prior to coming out here.

Don't worry, I won't glaze over the hospital stay, as it defines our trip to Bangkok and has also changed Mia's dietary habits.

A note on street vendors:

Take American street food, like NYC hot dog vendors, and add a serious dash of danger, minus any type of regulation, and you have Thai street food.  When we first arrived, we were utterly amazed at the full-scale kitchens the Thai people  operate out of what seems like a motorbike with a Bunsen burner and a wok on the back.  As our thriftiness (What?? 75 cents for an entire meal??!) got the better of us, we flirted with street food, gave it a wave, a hair toss, and finally succumbed (95% due to the fact that our choices were either street vendors or 7-11 at the first hotel...in our defense, one can only ingest so many bags of peanut M&M's before looking for a little bit more substance).  Just like the morbid game of Russian Roulette played in the movie The Deer Hunter, we ultimately knew that someone was going to get hurt, although I definitely did not want that someone to be myself or Mia.  Who knew that a 20 baht chicken skewer in the RCA district could result in the most expensive 12 hours of our lives since arriving in Thailand?  Gory details aside, I will note that the staff at Phayathai Hospital took extremely good care of her, and after twelve hours, 8 different medications, four naps, two wonderfully catered meals, and one sponge bath later, Mia emerged healed.  The score is currently street meat: 1, Mia:0, but that is a score that both she and I are very willing to leave alone.  And, as I mentioned above, having to pick my friend up off the bathroom floor of the Suda Palace and worry not only about her health, but also how incredibly dirty the floor was incited the lightbulb over the head moment in which I knew that we were no longer subjecting ourselves to hovels posing as hotels.  

A (quick) note on tourist attractions in Bangkok:

- Do go to Wat Pho to see the Reclining Buddha and also to the Grand Palace (we didn't make it there, but heard it's spectacular).

- Don't believe any tuk tuk driver that says there are special ceremonies going on and that certain temples are closed.  One would think after two years in NYC and two years in Chicago that I would be a little more hardened to these schemes, but I still fall for them.  I blame my parents on raising me to be too accommodating, even to hustlers.  

-While we're on the subject of tuk tuks, just don't take them unless you feel like ingesting lungfuls of acrid car exhaust and taking unwanted detours to their friend's tailor shops where you will get swindled into buying a suit and a tux (poor Felix).  Cabs are just as easy, cheap, and you can practice your Thai on willing (well, sometimes unwilling) drivers.

-Do try the Indian food.  It's the best I have had since leaving New York City.

- Do check out the Sukhumvit area restaurants and bars, just be willing to drop more baht than intended.  Also, if you go to Bed Supperclub, say hi to Buddha for us, and make sure to remember that the restroom is downstairs, not by the DJ booth.  

- Don't be afraid to travel outside the tourist areas.  We were obviously at an advantage being with a friend who's friends are from the area, but, our dinner and subsequent night out at the local Thai restaurant Am-In was an incredibly fun and relaxing experience.  Thanks to John, Witt and Micky for showing us that what Thai chicken wings lack in size, they make up for in flavor.

- Do make sure to get a Thai massage.  Although not exactly what one would expect, we were so pleasantly suprised to learn that the use of elbows and feet, in addition to being contorted into strange positions, can strangely lull you in a relaxed state just as a European type of massage would.  Again, many thanks to John and Health Land for a great end to our stay in BKK.

At the end of our week in Bangkok, we were awed by the ancient architecture & history, incredibly thankful for the kind people of Phayathai hospital, and happy to finally find respite from a month's worth of sub-standard accommodations at a place that we could finally take a shower with hot water and without wearing flip-flops.  While we have undoubtedly spoiled ourselves far too much for our long-term apartment in Chaiyaphum, it was incredibly nice while it lasted.